I was in high school (circa 2009-2010) when a sudden plethora of Pittsburgh artists started paving their own way onto the hip hop scene; the likes of Wiz Khalifa, Chevy Woods, and (brief rumblings of) the young old head Beedie all had a different sound that pushed the ideas of what hip hop could sound like and turn into, more sub-categories that give people the options and follow the moods in which people feel. Then, in 2011, I was introduced to an artist who (at the time) I didn't know, or have any idea or inclination that would change my perception on music and how it could be made and heard, forever. "Kool Aid & Frozen Pizza" had a very child-like excitement about it (though with budding adolescent intentions), an excitement that I could not understand at the time. I couldn't help but think to myself, "why is this guy rapping about an after school special meal for middle class white kids to come home to? Why is he so full of himself? And why is he acting like every other wannabe kid in my high school, but actually getting recognition for it?" Well, as it turned out; every other wannabe kid... wanted to be him. Although the early years of "Eazy Mac with the cheesy raps" wasn't exactly my type of meal to indulge in, the following 8 years to come had shown me the most interesting artistic transformation from a rapper I have ever seen... and probably will hold that title for decades to come.
To see such a transformation from ANY hip hop artist, let alone a goofy white boy from Pittsburgh, PA was staggering. The younger, unpolished The High Life, KIDS, and Best Day Ever years saw a Mac that to me seemed to lack identity; a fusing of rap's culmination up to the years of 2009-2010. The beats were head bobbers and the hooks were recite-worthy, but the real artist in Malcolm McCormick hadn't seemed to come to fruition yet; it's almost as if Mac hadn't quite yet graduated to the sound that fit him, like his famous Pittsburgh fitted hats. But with that goofy white boy smile, a happy-go-lucky swagger, and the "never settle" work ethic that brought us so much Mac music in so little time (12 mixtapes and 5 studio albums since 2007) had turned Mac into not only one of the most respected rappers of the blogging era, but one of the most revered artists of this generation.
2012 saw Mac taking a different route musically; a sonic transformation that (whether due to critical scrutiny or personal wishes) molded and morphed Mac into an era of artistic experimentation incomparable to any other rapper. His dark mind and vivid imagination started to allow Mac to experiment in parameters never before explored by hip hop artists with his descriptive and off-the-wall style and comedy in his writing, which was met with an equal level of high as much as his realistic and brutal talks of death, depression and despair brought on fiery depths of the lowest of lows that no human should wish to see. Mac for so long danced with the "Diablo" of the deep in what can only be described as a form of "method music making"; using his ability to craft real and raw songs from almost every emotion he ever felt at any given time. At Mac's highs, his fans experienced The High Life with him. But at Mac's lows, his people watched movies with the sound off while experimenting in creative ways that exercised the brain, and pushed the mind to it's absolute limits, somehow without reaching levels that would put the happiest person in a mental hospital. This was Mac's way of expression, an outlet that represented the true extra terrestrial nature of a man from Pittsburgh; who was for Earth, but not from it. A being that understood the every ways of humans more than any one of us pedestrians ever could.
(Just as great a performer as he was an emcee, Mac thrived off of using live instruments and wasn't afraid to use his singing talents, pushing that emotion he felt and transforming it into great music)
Watching Movies With The Sound Off brought that same sound, magnified. I spent a solid month to 2 months listening to the album out of curiosity and research (a couple years after the album came out, circa 2015), and feeling Mac tow the line between skilled emcee and talented musician was astounding. I had only been able to get that real and raw reaction and emotion from 1 other rapper, who is famous for his Man On The Moon series. Mac's fearlessness in being weird and unaccepted allowed not only me, but an entire generation of kids to feel okay about not being okay. To be able to be weird and explore yourself could ultimately lead to the loving of yourself, and it probably wouldn't be far fetched to say that that was Mac's intention all along. On songs like "I Am Who I Am (Killin' Time)" and "Objects In The Mirror", Mac's brutal honesty and uncomfortable sadness was not only an experiment for his own happiness, but a representation of the places we may have to travel to in order to ultimately reach happiness. "Aquarium" is the hand that reaches out to catch you on an album that represents falling to your death; the saving grace that says even after all of the bullshit... we will be okay, as long as you "follow yourself wherever your mind goes."
Despite the terribly unfortunate circumstances, it would be untrue to say that Mac had not experienced happiness. In an eerily profound way, his music also represented happier times in the Pittsburgh emcee's life, which you can already picture when you imagine that ear to ear grin he always gave right before letting out a laugh that could change the mood of almost anybody. His 3rd studio album, GO:OD AM showed the brightest side of Mac that we had seen to date, with Mac finally coming to grips with his failures as much as he had his success, his flaws as a man finally accepted by the most important person in his life; himself. He stopped trying so much to become his own idea of great and started attempting more to enjoy his life, which was very much represented on GO:OD AM. Mac's focus had finally shifted to enjoying what he did, and it showed in his happiness and the fun he was having in making songs again ("Cut The Check", "100 Grandkids", "Weekend", "Clubhouse", "In The Bag", "Cut The Check"), while that signature ability to tap into his emotions better than almost anyone still remained sharp as a sword, the little nuances spread all throughout the album.
(Mac's chilling last music video he ever released
*I do not own these videos, or the rights to them*)
It's truly frightening to think about the signs of depression and drug addiction that Malcolm James McCormick showed throughout the years, but our regret lies in not being able to help him when he needed it. His struggle with addiction was well documented for years, but for an extended period of time his music seemed to be the saving grace of not only his fans, but Mac himself. Mac Miller will go down as one of the most expressive, delightfully weird, thought provoking and open minded rappers that hip hop has ever seen. His ever changing metamorphosis as an artist pushed hip hop to it's absolute boundaries, and though he passed at a tragically young age, his influence will reign on hip hop and it's own cult following, as well as his own cult following inside of the already scrutinized medium of expression for yea... decades to come. His mind bending concepts and at times, uncomfortably honest music not only represents Mac Miller as the expressive artist that he always was, but the beautiful human that he will always be remembered as. For every moment of positive recognition that Mac received, he shined a beaming spotlight on his shortcomings ten times brighter, with the utmost hope and effort to better himself in any and every way possible; an example that every human should follow and take notes on. We should take Malcolm's comfortability in speaking so heavily about death not as regretful or remorseful, but as acceptance that he is finally comfortable, and most of all; content. Rest Easy, Mac.
I woke up from a long night of Watching Movies With The Sound Off to quite a GO:OD AM. The light shined through the blinds harder than I had ever seen it, and though I was slightly blinded by the light, I finally felt awake. As I made my way to Blue Slide Park to reminisce in memories, I saw a bunch of KIDS playing on the slide, at the same time I also wished for better days. But then I thought, I didn't need to wish anymore... I finally feel as if I got my wish. I made my way to the pool to go Swimming, and prepared to Jump in. For some reason, this Jump felt the most in the moment I had ever felt in my life. In the air I thought about nothing, nothing at all. Not a single thing besides the anticipation of the cool water sending waves of pleasure and fulfillment through me... I finally hit the water and came to a realization. I plopped out of the water with the brightest eyes and the biggest pupils possible... was I high? Not at all. But I was finally living The High Life.
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